I am neck deep in the job search. As opposed to some of my previous posts when they job search felt like some kind of amorphous blob in the very distant future, without any real shape or purpose, this search now has shape and I'm working on the purpose. I had to make my peace with leaving LMU. I honestly think I had to go through the stages of grief and genuinely mourn for this LMU LA life that I've built for myself.
Denial: I was here the whole first semester. When people asked about the job search, I would just brush it off. I refused to look at jobs and even more adamantly refused to update my cover letter and resume.
Anger: This started to set in over Winter Break. When I went back to Ohio, I realized that I might find the "perfect" job in a horrendous location and this made me really, really angry. I was mad about the whole process, angry at Res Life for the four-year and you're out policy, pissed at people that were already in jobs that they loved in a city like LA.
Bargaining: This was the beginning of the job search. The mentality that "well if I just apply for a few jobs outside of LA, then karma will come back and something will open in LA or at LMU."
Depression: This happened around the beginning of February and seemed to coincide with the mentality of my senior RAs who were starting to realize that they too were leaving LMU. We became tied into this horrific cycle of one person crying which made me cry, which only made the first person cry more. It was a mess.
Acceptance: I'm starting to get there. I know that it will work out in the end.
Part of what helps with the acceptance stage is the possibility of what other positions could bring. I've applied for a variety of positions, everything from leadership to service to Res. Life. I've also realized that my dreams of living in SoCal forever may actually be pipe dreams so the positions I've applied for include exotic locations such as Fairfield, Connecticut, outside of Philly, suburban Massachusetts, and Newport News, Virginia. The thing that I have really been processing has been the tension between a "perfect" job and a "perfect" location. I'm not sure it is a war I will ever win, but I can't help but see a job description and then immediately look up the current weather conditions.
In the midst of all of this the Alternative Breaks Coordinator position at LMU opened. As you all know from my previous blog posts about the topic, but the AB experiences I've had while at LMU have been some of the most influential experiences I have had in the past four years. I have been challenged in every sense of the word through my trips to DC, Mexico and Appalachia. I immediately became excited at that prospect and started to let it be known that I was interested in the position. I met with the Director of CSA who supervises the position and she encouraged me to apply. The position just posted on the HR website so the first thing I do tomorrow will be to apply.
I have also applied for a Resident Director job at Santa Clara University. Santa Clara is very similar to LMU in a variety of ways in that it is mid-sized, Jesuit university with a huge commitment to service and social justice. It is located just outside of San Jose and is only 45 minutes from downtown San Francisco. Although the RD job there is similar to the RD job at LMU in many ways (judicial work, RA supervision, facilities management, etc.) it would also be a step up for me. I would have the opportunity to supervise grad RDs, have a lot more autonomy in my work and every single building is a full-blown Living Learning Community with Faculty Directors, Faculty-in-Residence and all the residents take a common course together.
I've already been through two rounds of Skype interviews and was offered an on-campus interview! Hooray! The more I hear about culture at Santa Clara, the more I think it could be really, really good for me. Exciting perks of the job include:
- The aforementioned work with Living Learning Communities and working with faculty.
- I asked the RDs on the interviews how they would describe RD culture and the first thing they said was that RDs are really, really respected on campus. They said that people understand who they are and what they do and that they aren't mistaken for students from faculty or staff.
- While the location is not on the beach, Santa Clara is still close to two major cities and we all know it can sometimes take just as long to get to downtown LA or even West Hollywood with traffic as it would to get from Santa Clara to San Francisco.
- I would receive between a 30-45% raise. Yep, 30-45%. Let's be honest, I'm not in this profession for the money. I know I will never be wealthy or rich, but it would be nice to have some security. It would be nice to be able to really build a nest egg. I would love to be able to buy a plane ticket or a nice birthday present for someone and not take 20 minutes to move around money or countdown the days until my next payday.
- A meal plan, plus they have 2-3 bedroom apartments and some of them have some combination of laundry, dishwashers and/or patios.
- Pets, pets, pets, pets, PETS! I could have a dog!!!
- I asked the RDs to describe their duty system and what are some typical calls they receive. They all said that up until this point in the year they have responded in person to 2-4 calls each. The. Whole. Year. Since they have grad RDs, they have the grads handle all of the small things so they RDs are only asked for really big issues like sexual assault, arrests or major medical issues. I can't even describe the idea of being on duty for a week and only responding to one thing in person or not even responding at all!
The more I think about this potential move the more right it seems. It could be really good for me to move away from all of the LA drama and start fresh again in a position I know I would love. I would still be able to supervise students which is my favorite thing in the world, while being challenged in ways that LMU frankly can't provide anymore. While the thought of starting over and getting to know a new school, town, student culture, and set of colleagues again is somewhat exhausting, it is also exhilarating to think about the possibilities.
So right now I'm focusing on the possibilities.
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