Strengths Quest, A Book, A Movie and A Tow Truck

Today, my dear sweet Ella (the Escape) got towed to a little place called George and Joey's Towing Place in Torrance, California. Let's just say that it was a scary experience for all of us.

Yesterday I decided that I needed to get out of my little corner of the world so I texted Melissa and asked if she had any plans for Saturday night. She said that she didn't, but would love to get dinner so I drove down to Torrance, parked where I normally parked and proceeded to have a fantastic night. We got BW3s, had several Blue Moons and watched/critiqued the SAG Awards.

Since I decided to partake in some frothy brews, driving home was clearly out of the question so I curled up on Melissa's couch (with a lovely Batman inspired comforter, might I add!) and called it a night. We spent a couple of hours watching some random TV shows, then headed out to Good Stuff in Hermosa for some beach side brunching. Again, all of this was simply lovely. After that, we decided that we wanted to see the movie Precious which is shaping up to be an Oscar contender. We found a cheap 2:15pm showing ($3.25! Holla!) and we were shaken to our core for 110 minutes. After wiping away tears, Melissa drove me back to where I had parked Ella only to find her either a) towed or b) stolen.

This would be the point in my typical life where I would have burst into tears, screamed at the tow truck company or cursed the church member who called the towing company (in a what some would say an un-Christian manner) to secure another space for Sunday morning services. I could feel the lump in my throat welling up when I realized that Ella was indeed gone. However, just a quickly as it popped up, it went away. What had changed? What made it possible for me to keep my cool and yes, even stay positive when the Torrance Police Department and two separate tow truck companies told me they couldn't look anything up without my licence plate number. (PS Who memorizes their licence plate number? Am I alone in this?) Instead of bursting into years yet again, I calmly turned to Melissa and told her that we needed to drive back to LMU, grab my paperwork and then come back to Torrance to find out whether Ella had been towed or stolen. The story actually ends somewhat well. Ella had indeed been towed so I shelled out some major cash, picked her up, apologized for scaring her and drove back home.

So what changed? What made it possible for me to not freak out about the fact that I had to spend more than 20% of a paycheck for a stupid mistake?

#1 Melissa and I had just come from one of the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, "Please God just let something go right for this poor girl" movie I had ever seen. Precious is one of those movies where you ask yourself at the end whether it was a good decision to have seen the movie. It deals with teen pregnancy, incest, HIV, illiteracy, physical, verbal and sexual abuse. And this all happens to a 17-year-old.

#2 Starting on Saturday night I started reading The Lovely Bones. I read a little bit that night, but read for about three hours straight this morning and I'm currently on page 250. Clearly, it has been an interesting read. If you haven't heard about this book or read it for yourself, the brief synopsis is that a teenage girl in the 70's is raped, murdered, and dismembered by a neighbor. She then flees to Heaven where she watches her family cope with the loss while trying to help point them in the direction of her murderer.

#3 I've been on a Strengths Quest kick recently. I was able to coordinate a training for 100+ student staff members and planned a day-long training based on the principles of Strengths Quest. We had done Strengths Quest with Res Life my second year as an RD, plus we taught a class on it for my Leadership Class so my top five were always sort of swimming around in my brain. Not surprisingly, I latched on to a few that seemed to resonate more than others so while I could see my Positivity and Input being easily played out of a daily basis, my Connectedness was always something nice that I tacked on, but never something that I really thought about before. I looked this up when I got home and this is how Connectedness is described:

• Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it.

After I read the description a few times, I realized that was finally able to tap into one of my Strengths when I needed it the most. Typical Marci would have automatically reverted into panic mode, but Marci with Connectedness leading the way, I was able to take a step back and realize that in all of the horrors that life could unfortunately pass my direction, having my car held hostage for a ridiculous ransom was not that big of a deal. I took a deep breathe, dealt with it in a rational manner, realized it could have been a hell of a lot worse and then said a little thank you that in the grand scope of this hiccup was barely worth mentioning.