I was made aware of this during the past two days by four people that went out of their way to affirm me and my contributions, which by itself is great, but these particular affirmations were so much more than the usual "Wow, great job!" or "That was amazing!" These affirmations were people who knew what I do well and exactly how to phrase it to make me stop brushing it off and instead internalize and be truly grateful for these kind words.
All of these instances came in different forms, but their impact was the same. One came in the form of outrage that RDs don't stay for more than four years and that this would be my last year at LMU. This person said (and I'm paraphrasing) "Well that just doesn't make any sense. If someone like you who loves their job and is so darn good at it, why wouldn't they want to keep you? Why would they want someone new when they have someone who is so passionate and who students connect with so well?" Point taken, my friend. The next person was one of my Resident Ministers who came into my office today, flopped down in my comfy chair and said "You are so fucking good at your job. Seriously, best RD I've ever worked with and I've been doing this a long time." The next was one of my RAs who offered (unprompted by me, I might add!) to write me a letter of recommendation and to be a reference for my next job. He said the only way anyone wouldn't want to hire me after talking with him was if they had no soul. A little dramatic, but effective feedback nonetheless!
The last nugget of love was from a former student who has one of the purest hearts in the world. She has been following my nervous rants about the job search and my somewhat more eloquently phrased post on the motivation behind service. (Hooray for loyal readers! Thanks!) She sent me a very heartfelt Facebook message with so many moments of affirmation I immediately burst into tears upon my first read. However, when I went back and re-read it with a little clearer head, I was moved. It's hard not to be when someone writes such wonderful things as "You have such great insight and it comes from this honestly curious and humble place of just experiencing and questioning the world around you" or "You have the heart part down too. Not everyone is as aware in an emotionally intelligent way, not everyone is able to be so critical and studious of the social/political environment around them" and my personal favorite "You are exactly what they say when they encourage the LMU community to be a person for others, to promote justice, to educate the whole person - you ARE the mission in action. That training session for Housing? Yeah, you should write that, in a nutshell. There is so much life and love and wisdom in you."
To set the scene a little bit, while I was reading this manifesto of support, a commercial came on for The Beatles release to iTunes. The song that was playing was "All You Need Is Love" and the specific lyric being sung was:
There's nothing you can know that isn't know.
Nothing you can see that isn't show.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love.
So the point to this love-fest is that even if nothing works out at LMU for the upcoming year, at least I know that I am loved. I am loved for the person that I truly am and from a really diverse cross-section of people which makes me think that I'm being congruent in multiple settings and really being me. I guess love really is all I need.
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